The material in this video is quite shitty, but you can get an idea of my stage presence here. |
Contrary to what you might be thinking at this juncture, I am not a 10-yr-old little boy… Kept telling my ex that too… He’s got a boyfriend now… I should have known something was up when he told me his first name was father…
I miss being in a relationship… I was always getting stuff… The cards, the jewelry… the crabs… Talk about the gift that keeps on givin’…
I’m from Texas, but you probably already knew that… ‘cause like they say, “Everything’s bigger in Texas”. I was a little concerned about moving to California, because my teeth are flashing gang signs.
By the way, it’s never a good idea to ask a crackhead to help you move… put down the crack pipe…
This hypnotist I know told me that I should stick to telling short jokes… apparently he’s not a very good hypnotist… Boy, I really wanted to kick that guy in the shins…
I used to have a pretty good self-esteem, until I started interacting with people.
Have you ever been to a psychiatrist for an evaluation… listened to him ask you if you hear voices… and wondered if he actually asked you the question?
I quit smoking a few weeks ago, because I wanted to improve the quality of my life… Since then, I regained my sense of smell. I’m nose-level with most people’s armpits… why do I want a sense of smell?
I also lost my wallet…asked a crackhead to help me move into my new apartment with my smoking roommates…gave myself a mild concussion with a garage door…had a panic attack…heard a doctor tell me that my brain is normal…forgot that I quit smoking…remembered that I quit smoking…and cried like Jerry Falwell after having a nightmare about Justin Timberlake spanking Janet Jackson until her boob fell out of her shirt.
In that order, I think…
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